I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams
You are here each day with me, at least that is how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are.....what' s taking us so long,
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind .

May God hold you in his hand until I can be with you,
I promise you, my darling , I 'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

-Author unknown

Monday, May 29, 2006


Well folks - not much adoption news on the homefront. Still haven't heard from AHH or Casa Barnabe regarding my application there. I still occasionally look at the little girl's picture that we declined and pray for her. My heart still goes out to her. Sometimes I would wonder if it was like J's dream . . . no one wanted to have anything to do with her - even J - but then he went back to her and rescued her. Man - you could totally translate that to this situation. But there would have to be a peace in Jeremy's heart about it, and as of now - he still has peace about not adopting her. My daughter is out there somewhere . . . it's just so hard to be patient. The unknown really tests your faith - doesn't it! :)
You can continue to pray for us in many facets. I tell you - when you are trusting God for extraordinary supply of finances - the enemy likes to hit you where it hurts . . . . the finances! We are going to need to put in over $500+ this week on many issues with my van, and then we are getting higher bills than I thought for Meg's broken arm, and our recent physicals for the adoption process. We are supposed to go on vacation to Florida in a couple weeks (Meg will thankfully get her cast off 3 days before! She'll just have a splint!) - we had planned this vacation last year, but hadn't completely paid for it yet (need that money). I was getting quite depressed today regarding the money situation. I am believing that God will provide for our needs - but I am hoping He will also provide for some of our wants (a few extra fun things on our trip - I'd like to take the kids to Sea World &/or Kennedy Space Center). I know He can do it . . . . . I just have to work through my feelings sometimes. :) Anyways - pray for us . . . K? For Finances (not just adoption finances), for creativity for funding our adoption, for protection (body, mind, soul, spirit, finances, household, etc), for our new daughter's protection & health, and for lots and lots and lots of patience!

You all are a blessing to me! Thank you again for supporting us!

God bless you immensely today!

Lori :)

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Casa Bernabe (House of Barnabas)

Just wanted to let you know that we have officially put in our application to this orphanage (Hogar). I e-mailed it last week, but had to re-email it, and I also sent a copy via snail mail. The director said she will hopefully review it soon. :) Yeah! We'll see what happens. You can check out the orphanage and the children there at or Click on the link near the bottom (or side - for for the gallery pics. You can also choose to sponsor one of the kids (there is a list of who still needs sponsorship at this site as well. The other orphanage they are looking at for us also welcomes sponsors for their girls. Check them out at Thanks so much!
Lori :)

Portraits by Elizabeth Fox

You all have got to check these out! My mom has always been into art as I grew up, but was really unable to do much (she was raising 4 kids!!). She did some watercolors, oil paintings and calligraphy - at least that's what I remember. Well, recently (within this last year) she decided to try her hand at colored pencils (after having years of eye problems and then finally being able to see better after a few surgeries!). Now. . . . I can color with colored pencils . . . . as long as there are lines to stay inside of! But my mom takes colored pencils to a new level! I gave her a few photographs of my kids and she produced a few wonderful works of art from them! Check them out!

If anyone is interested in having a portrait done for yourself, your parents, hubby, wife, etc - my mom is willing to donate a portion of her profit to our adoption fund. It would help us out as well as encourage my mom in the gifting God has given her! You will treasure the portrait!! I will include her pricing and info sheet below. Thank you so much!
Lori :)


My goal is to create a realistic portrait for you.

Materials: I use Prismacolor colored pencils. These fine pencils are wax based, made from brilliant, light-resistant pigments. I really enjoy this medium because of the vibrant colors that can be achieved. The end result often looks like an oil painting. Prismacolor pencils are versatile and portraits can also be rendered to resemble soft pastels. I use primarily Rising Stonehenge paper. Stonehenge is a 100% cotton, acid-free paper used for all types of printmaking as well as for drawing and painting.

Requirements: I require a good sized and very sharp photograph, minimum size of the image to be drawn should be no less than 3 by 4 inches (the larger and sharper the better!). In addition I would like at least two other photos that show personality, hair color and eye color well.

Agreement: Once we have decided on the size and price of your portrait I will have you sign a contract and submit a 50% deposit. The contract will state that completion of the contract will be dependent upon your approval of the portrait. If you are satisfied, the remainder of the commission will be due on delivery of the portrait. If you are dissatisfied your deposit will be returned to you and I will keep the portrait.

Commission Prices: (Prices in effect until 8/1/06)
Unmatted and unframed.

8” x 10” $125
9” x 12” $150
11” x 14” $200
16” x 20” $250

These prices are for one person with a simple background.
Each additional person will require a 30% increase to the price.

I will be glad to show you examples of my work!

Beth Fox
474-0729 (home) 377-6282 (cell)

Sunday, May 21, 2006


What a week! Despite the fact that we had to make a major life decision to make about the little girl referred to us, we also had our last home study visit yesterday (sat 20th), Ryan was home sick off and on all week, Meghan broke her left arm in gymnastics, and my car is having "issues". We were in need of some prayer this week!
Well, as you can guess, we declined the little girl. Even though I was falling in love with such a cutie, there was never really a peace about her being our daughter . . . from anyone (friends, family and hubby). It was hard to say "no" and pass her up, but I know it was the right thing to do. She is meant to be a blessing to another family, and I surely don't want to take that away from them (or her). I completely trust God that our little girl is still out there. I was hoping for a sign (an e-mail from the orphanages, our adoption agency . . . someone), but I think that God was wanting us to go on faith and trust Him. It's easy to let go of something when you have something else to hold onto. It's not as easy when you don't and are just trusting it will be there at the right time. God is increasing our faith to even greater levels with each phase of this adoption - that's for sure!
Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Thanks to those that were honest about what they felt the Lord was showing them (about the referral). Thanks for allowing us to go through the process of giving in to God's plan without an "I told you so" to us. :)
So . . .
We are about to start the waiting game. When our homestudy comes back - we will send it off to get our I 171 H letter. Then, that letter, our homestudy and all the other wonderful documents we have so painstakingly pulled together and notarized, will be sent to the Secretary of State and then the Guatemalan Consulate for VA (have I already told you all this?). THEN - it will go to A Helping Hand, and will eventually get down to Guatemala (all translated) to go through the court systems down there. If all goes well, we should have our homestudy around the beginning of June. So, depending on how long the INS/FBI people take - I'm hoping to get our I 171H by the end of June or beginning of July . . . send off to state/consulate/agency . . . hopefully it will all be there sometime in July (August at the latest). At least - that's MY Plan! :) I know God has His own plan! So we'll see what happens. . . . . Then after it gets to Guatemala, it usually takes 4-7 months for that process. Maybe around November - February at the latest (I really hope not!!) we will have our daughter home! I am hoping she will be here before Christmas! Pray with me - ok? Even sooner would be fine as well! :)
God bless you today . . . in all your adventures (no matter how mundane they may seem)!
Blessings - Lori :)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Spiritual Warfare of Adoption

This is the article by my friend Stephanie Tait (in the process of adopting from China). Be prepared to have your heart tugged on!
-Lori :)

January 29, 2006

When our family made the decision to adopt a little girl from China, we were not prepared for the spiritual battle that would ensue. I can remember the day we filled out our agency’s application. When I went to sign on the line, I was suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of fear and inadequacy. Every parenting failure I’ve ever had flooded into my mind and I was terrified. I knew that I certainly would not pass “the test” and be approved, and was instantly convinced that I would be humiliated and come away from this endeavor empty handed. In that moment everything I knew about the number of precious children lying in cribs with no family and no hope for their future left me, and I was suddenly engaged in a battle of the mind.

Each step of the way, the enemy continued to launch his attacks against me in the form of accusations and fear. As I drew close to my Father I would hear Him whisper that He was the One blazing the path from us to our little girl, and that I only had to fix my eyes on Him and hold tightly to Him as He forged the way. As I hid myself in the Lord, I was able to walk through the process despite repeated attacks from the enemy.

As we have continued in this process, the Lord has shown us that adoption is a spiritual battle. I believe that the enemy uses many kinds of different assaults in his endeavor to prevent adoption. Certainly, the issue of finances comes into play here. I cannot begin to recount the number of people who have confided to us that adoption is something they have considered or even longed to do – except for the fact that it is so expensive. And I must admit, we went into our adoption not having any idea where the money would come from. The cost of adoption is monumental, and the enemy has that in his favor. Countless numbers of couples have not pursued the idea for more than a few minutes simply because of the cost alone – an easy victory for the enemy… and an even greater loss for the children.

There are other tactics the enemy uses to convince people not to adopt. He is an expert at custom-tailoring the tactics to our personal fears.

But why?

Why is adoption such a spiritual battle? I had to ask the Lord. Of course I felt like I knew part of the answer without even asking. What I knew was that adoption is God’s idea, and that it is a spiritual concept. When I asked the Lord why it had to be so hard – why it costs so much and why it takes so long, He answered me directly:

“It was hard for me too, heart-breaking, in fact. But it was worth it. You were worth it to me. And I am still waiting. I know how hard the waiting is, but don’t give up. She is worth waiting for, just like you were. And I am in the waiting with you. I know you cannot understand. Only trust me, for I have proven myself faithful to you.”

For the first time, I began to understand that God Himself paid the highest price for my adoption – His own Son. And then He waited for me – and He is still waiting for so many. I understood more clearly the direct link that adoption is to the Father’s heart. Adoption is His way of bringing us back to Himself.

“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a Spirit of adoption as sons, by which we cry out, ‘Abba! Father!’” Romans 8:15

I also knew that Jesus Himself had been adopted by Joseph and had seen the significance of the fact that God’s promise of a Savior through the bloodline of David had been accomplished through adoption, as it was Joseph – not Mary – who was David’s descendant.

However, as I have struggled through this process, I have been compelled to dig deeper. I have sensed that there was more – more to this spiritual battle than what I could already see. So I began again, asking the Lord, “Why? What, Lord, are the other reasons why Satan hates adoption so much?”

The Lord answered me by showing me this vision. I was above the earth looking down at the nations. The Lord showed me Africa, India, the Middle East, Eastern Europe, China, South America………I could see row upon row upon row of children - babies, toddlers, young children and teens, all the orphans of the world. Hovering over them was a thick cloud of oppression. Spirits of death, sickness, poverty, loneliness and hopelessness surrounded them. God said, “They are the unseen and the unheard.”

Then before my eyes I saw these children – millions of them – become adults. And what I saw was that the enemy had raised up his own army of darkness – millions of children that grew up under the clouds of death and hopelessness and became adults – millions of adults – that belonged to the enemy.

But then the Lord said to me:

IT IS NOT THE WILL OF YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN THAT ONE OF THESE LITTLE ONES PERISH – NOR WILL IT BE. My people can change this – and not only can they change it – they must. My people must rally together and go in and ransom this generation from the clutches of the enemy. My people today must rescue this generation of children, for I am preparing for battle, and these are mine. I have a call on each of these lives and I will that not one be lost. My people today must get up and go – Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless – rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. For I have not despised or disdained the suffering of these afflicted ones; I have not hidden my face from them, but have listened to their cry for help. These are MINE. Go, Church, and get them out. Take in hope and healing and life, and bring these little ones out, for they are Mine and they have been born into this generation for My purpose.

Then I remembered Psalm 72:12 – 14. “For He will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in His sight.”

And then, Proverbs 23:10. “Do not move an ancient boundary stone or encroach on the fields of the fatherless, for their defender is strong; He will take up their case against you.”

And then, Psalm 68:5-6. “A father to the fatherless, defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing…”

Adoption was God’s idea. The only way for us to be with Him is through the miracle of adoption. There are millions of children whose lives are hanging in the balance. God is clearly their Father and their Strong Defender. He created each one for a purpose in this generation. He is raising up an army – and these children belong there. It is His will that NOT ONE of them perish. He is clearly their deliverer, but we – our generation – is clearly called by God to go and ransom these children from the clutches of the enemy through His power and provision.

As His body, we are called to this common purpose. Will we answer that call? Will we come together as His body in this and be willing to ask God, “What should I do?” And will we be willing to obey and trust in His provision for the resources – emotional, physical and financial – to do the thing He asks of us?

When I asked the Lord, “What else?”, He said, “Tell them I am going to win, and they do not want to miss this one.”

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Well - on Wednesday we received an e-mail from a friend of mine (in response to a question I had for her). Near the end of her e-mail she stated "I can see the sun coming up!". This is in reference to a vision she shared with us of Jeremy and I looking towards the horizon for our daughter. At first we were just looking - seeing nothing, then a few weeks ago (again out of the blue) she told us that we were watching the first rays of light coming over the horizon (the dawn), and that when we were fully aligned and ready that we would start to see the sun come up. I had told her I was tired of looking at the dawn! I wanted to see the sun (our daughter)! So when she said "I can see the sun coming up" - I thought "yah, yah - we're getting closer with our paperwork . . . but no sun showing up here yet".
Just a few minutes later I opened another e-mail from Tony Brewer (head of AHH) saying that I should be expecting an e-mail or call from one of their Family Advocates about some news from the Guatemalan attorney. Needless to say - I got very excited! Would I see the "sun" today?! Do they have a referral for us? I checked my e-mail and phone all day long. . . . . . . Nothing. :( I was quite bummed.
The next morning (thursday - May 11th) I sent an e-mail to the family advocate asking about what the news was. I left her my cell number as we had to leave that afternoon to go to Norfolk for our FBI fingerprints. She happened to call me just as we were pulling in near the Dept of Homeland Security. She said that they did have a little girl that just became available if we would like to see her info. . . . . . . . . . duh?! Of course! :)
I couldn't wait to get home and check it out! She is 2 years and 8 months old. I won't give out any more info at this time until we have a chance to really pray and hear from the Lord on this matter. Please pray with us. We want to find "our daughter" and we want this little girl to find her new parents. Is that us? I'm not sure yet. At times I think so, and I feel a peace about it, but then other times I start to question. It feels strange to be making such a long-term, life-changing decision based on a few photos and some very basic/scant medical and family info. I never had to do that with my other kids. This is a new experience for us - that's for sure!
Thanks again for all your support. Continue to pray for us as well as the whole process (paperwork, finances, etc). I can feel the enemy trying to attack and destroy - or at least confuse and hinder - at times. It usually seems to happen when our social worker is about to come over. She's been over twice - and both times have been preceeded by some interesting events and frustrations. I'm praying alot - that's for sure! The devil definitely doesn't want us to rescue a little girl and see her grow up to be a godly woman! Help us fight this battle.
That reminds me - I wanted to attach a good article a friend of mine wrote about this spiritual battle over adoption. I will see if I can get her permission and post it for you. It may open your eyes and help you to understand more about the need for more Christians to adopt.
Take care you all! God bless.
Lori :)