Juliana Gabrielle . . . our daughter??

Hello friends and family! So - you want to know, hunh? :) Well - so do we! Here's what we do know:

We had to wait over the Labor Day weekend, but on Wednesday (Sept 6th), I got an e-mail from Lucy (our agency director) stating that she finally got some info on the little girl, but it was still in Spanish and didn't look like it had much medical info or any pictures. She wanted to know if we wanted to wait till she got everything or just to go ahead and send what she had (she was leaving for Haiti in the morning). I asked for what she had (of course!) and later told Tammy (Lucy's Guatemala adoption helper/advocate) to go ahead and send me the documents in Spanish (she had called at 5pm saying they hadn't received the translations yet). We have 2 neighbors that speak fluent Spanish (one is from Spain and the other from Mexico) - so I think we could get it translated! :) I actually could understand most of it, and had a couple friends (not even my neighbors) help with the rest.
In the letter, the lawyer said she would fax the medical info and email some pics the next morning (Thursday). Well - it's now monday and we still have not heard back from the lawyer. My agency tried contacting her again today. Hmmm . . . . . what's going on Lord? It is hard to feel like we have a "real" referral, as we don't have all the info. Even Lucy said the same thing. :) As you can imagine - I check my e-mail even more frequently throughout the day (is that even possible?!) just waiting for the pics and info! Though - I do still trust that it's all in God's timing as the past 2 weeks have been quite stressful for me with school starting and all the new schedules, etc. (teaching Ty at home MWF) - so, not having to figure out the finances to accept a referral yet, has been a blessing. God has a reason and has His ways! They are definitely NOT my ways!

The other interesting thing that the Lord has done lately . . . is to keep making me cry! . . . or was that my hormones? Well, I can blame that on God too! :) No, seriously - last night at our monthly Mei Ming (adoption ministry) meeting - we were praying for the Chinese orphans and adoptions and I was totally overtaken! I saw a picture of a huge wave, like a Tsunami, sweep over the land in China and wash through an orphanage (or several) and over all the kids - submerging them. I just started to cry. I wanted to sob uncontrolably - but held it in. I didn't know what it meant. I didn't think it was a literal interpretation, but it still made me cry. Then I felt like God told me that this was a picture of His love for these children - the orphaned, and was I ready to experience it? . . . . I would love to say - yes I am - but when you do, it's too overwhelming. Your heart is full of love and heartache all at once - and the power of it overwhelms you like a Tsunami wave! I didn't like feeling out of control in it, but I do want more of His heart - it's just hard to handle.

Then today, somehow, in one of my many online adventures, I ended up at a website for US kids that needed adopting. I came across this little girl - Carolina. I could not stop crying for over an hour. I would slowly stop, but as soon as I thought about her, or any other orphan for that matter, I just started weeping uncontrollably. And of course my mind just went crazy trying to figure out why the spigots in my eyes wouldn't shut off! Was it just my "mother's heart" feeling for this child (I was crying as if she was my own child just diagnosed with end stage renal disease. I just wanted to take her home and love on her!)? Was it the shame I felt for wanting a "healthy" child? Was it the desire to help this little girl? Was it the feeling of sadness and frustration at the unfairness in life for these little ones? Was it God? Was it my hormones? Was it just stress??. . . . . What was going on? I had to lay down on my bed and weep before God and pray for this little girl, and others like her that I have seen recently online, who may never be adopted because of their "special needs" - but who desperately want and need a loving family of their own! I called and talked with (more like sobbed to) my mom and had her pray for me, and that seemed to finally slow the stream of tears to a trickle and eventually they stopped altogether (thankfully!). But I'm still not 100% sure of what the intense emotions were all about with this girl. I had almost started to cry when seeing a few other kids before - but nothing like this!

Anyways . . . . I'll stop telling you my "sob stories". :) hee, hee.

So - Back to our referral . . . Pray that we get the final info on little Juliana Gabrielle (that's her birth name) so that we can make a decision. She is 2 1/2 years old (born March 2nd) - which is right about the age I was thinking we would get. By the time we brought her home, she would be 3 probably - or almost 3. Meg plays well with the 3 year old down the street, and I think she would like being a "big sister" to a "little sister", instead of having a sister almost her age. We'll see.

Also - continued prayer for:
- Adoption Finances (haven't heard back from the grant application; am planning of having a garage sale this fall; we're still selling Ent. Books, and starting to collect ink and laser cartridges for recycling; plus there are some other possible fundraising ideas that we haven't approached or tried yet; and finally - looking into low interest loans or 0% credit cards . . . we'll see where God leads)
- Info to arrive soon!
- Coverage for our whole family! - we have felt very attacked lately (J's stress at work, me with my new, busy schedule of schooling and "taxi" mom, etc, etc, etc)
- Orphans around the world - to be released to families that will love and care for them!

Thanks so much you guys! We love and appreciate you - as always!!!!!

- Lori :)
ps - Hopefully our next news will be tears of JOY when we accept a referral! I hope so!