KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams
You are here each day with me, at least that is how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are.....what' s taking us so long,
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind .

May God hold you in his hand until I can be with you,
I promise you, my darling , I 'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

-Author unknown

Friday, August 18, 2006

Esther was adopted!

Hello all! Ok - before I explain the title, let me catch you up. Sorry I haven't updated sooner - but as usual, it's been another busy week!

Jacob surgery went beautifully! Thank you all for praying! I could tell he was bathed in prayer. He was not scared (he was actually excited to go smell the grape flavored mask in the OR) and recovered 4 times quicker than my other boys ever did from surgery! I barely had time to sit down in the recovery area before they told us we could go home! No nausea or vomiting, no excessive sleepiness, etc. For those that didn't know - Jake has had several styes in his lower eyelids this last year, and ended up with several Chalazions on the inside and outside of both lids. They were never going to go away (and people always asked what was wrong with his eyes because of the red spots, etc) - so they had to surgically remove them. It was a short surgery, but it did require general anesthesia. Anyways - his eyelids are looking much better! A little redness still, but on the mend, and definitely better than before! Oh yah - and today is his 4th b-day! Happy Birthday Jacob!!

As for the adoption - I got a call from KAS that our dossier looked great and was all done . . . . except for . . . . . . (????Hunh??? Something else?) . . . we were missing the notarized, authenticated (x2) copy of our home study agency's license. ???? We were never even told we needed it! Oh well. One of these days we will actually be DONE with this paperwork (I hope). So I called and left a message at our HS agency and didn't hear back from them. Left another message this past monday - and they finally called me back. They had mailed out the copy on friday, so I should recieve it soon. It actually did come in the mail on monday, and I was all ready to send it off to be authenticated when I realized that the notary didn't date her signiture. I wasn't sure if she had to or not - but I thought that was pretty standard. I called my agency, and they said it may be fine how it is, but they would rather just get it done right ("since you don't have a referral yet and we are not in a need to rush things" . . . why do they keep saying that to me? I would LOVE to have a referral and be in a rush! :) Oh well). So - I called the HS agency back and requested to get one with a date on it. She said she would do it that day and get it in the mail. I expeceted to receive it Wed or Thursday - but didn't. Hopefully today. So . . .. when that is all authenticated . . . THEN we will be PAPER READY! yeah!

Lucy, the director of KAS, is still in Guatemala and should be returning tomorrow. Please pray for her safe return. I, of course, am hoping that she has found our daughter with the help of her lawyer, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. I do have a sense of peace these past 2 months that it's all in God's timing and His big, capable hands. In my devotions today (reading from Cynthia Heald's book "A Woman's Journey to the Heart of God"), I read a wonderful statement about waiting. This definition, of the value of waiting, was written by A.B. Davidson - "To wait is not merely to remain impassive. It is to expect - to look for with patience, and also with submission. It is to long for, but not impatiently; to look for, but no to fret at the delay; to watch for, but not restlessly." That described how I feel exactly!! With each delay, I don't have that feeling of fret or panic, but peace. I long for, expect, look for and watch for the arrival of my daughter - but it has been filled with a strong peace! I can't explain it any other way. PTL that I know the author of that peace and can lean on Him during this process! There are so many adoptive parents who live in fear during the whole process. Anyways . . . . I'll keep you updated on whether we get a referral soon (or not).

As for Esther . . . . . .
I was praying this morning for my daughter. Because we are looking for a 2-5 year old, we have not decided on what to name her, as she may end up keeping her name (especially if she is older). I have liked the name Kathryn Grace (meaning "Pure, virginal" and "Grace of God"). My oldest son picked out Kaitlyn or Kathryn when I was pregnant with Jacob (and wanted to still call him that even after we found out it was a boy! I don't think so!). Anyways - I was asking God what name he would want for our daughter. Would we just keep her name, or is there another name for her? What will she be like? Etc. God brought Esther to my mind - not necessarily the name, but the person and the story. I've always liked the story of Esther (a beautiful young lady who gets chosen to be queen and helps to save her people!! What little girl wouldn't fantasize about being her?!) I flipped open the Bible to Esther and started reading. Besides the fact that Esther was a "virgin" (see Kathryn's meaning above), what jumped out immediately to me (that I had never noticed before at all!!!) was that Esther was adopted!!! (So - Tait's, you have the "Tarzan effect", but I have the "Esther effect"! :) hee, hee.)
Esther 2:7 - "Mordecai had a cousin named Hadasah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father or mother. This girl, who was also known as Esther, was lovely in form and features, and Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died." vs. 15 - "When the turn came for Esther (the girl Mordecai had ADOPTED . . . )". She also left her "people" to go live with the King (who was a totally different nationality), and God used that to help her save "her people"! What a beautiful story of God's Divine Grace! I feel like God was saying that our daughter would have an Esther spirit - beautiful, pure, good heart, smart, (of course all the things we all desire for our kids!!), and that the reason God is allowing her to join our family is not to leave her "people" behind, but to be able to have an impact on them in the future! She HAS to leave them to save them (spiritually, physically, etc - I don't know. all of the above?)! God's plans are perfect! Aren't they?! So . . . .as is God's usual style - my question wasn't really answered directly (Jesus always spoke in parables too!) - but what a picture and reassurance of God's love and plans He has for our daughter! It just tickles me pick and lifts my spirits!

The great news is - that God has awesome plans for each and every one of us! It may not be to save a whole nation, or to find the cure for cancer, but the impact your life has on even just one little child (or adult) - can have an everlasting consequence and can potentially touch millions of lives thereafter!! Just think if Billy Graham had never accepted the Lord as Savior! Even though he was raised in church, he had a time of wrestling with the issue of whether the Bible was the infallible word of God while he was at college. What if Henrietta Mears had not helped him with that issue? What if Forest Hope Christian camp had never been started (where Graham made the decision that the Bible was in fact God's infallible words and decided to follow God wholeheartedly)? Just one decision we make, one life we touch, can potentially reach into the millions because of our commitment to follow Christ and His will for our lives (even if it SEEMS that we are not doing anything"big" for God). So - keep on following God's calling on your life - whether it's to adopt, support adoption, be a stay at home mom, a working mom, etc. Just make sure you are doing what God wants you to do and you can't go wrong!!! :)

God bless you all today! Sorry this ended up being so long - but I had to share what was on my heart! Hope it didn't put you to sleep. :)
Thanks for your support and prayers!
Blessings!
Lori :)

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